Today after my classes... and my meeting, I went to see Ms. Ruma... I asked her about my options after AUSMAT besides Downunder... then she said, as long as you maintain a TER of 88, it shouldn't be a problem... So, I thought, alright, 88... hmmm... Sounds like what a JPA is supposed to get to continue under their scholarship... Then, just before I could move on to the next topic regarding my Sunway Scholarship, she continued, "But for you, you shouldn't be looking at 88... You can get no less than 98..."
When I first heard that, I was like, "Wa!!! The way I'm performing for my Econs, don't expect me to get even 95!!!" Of course I didn't say that out loud... not in front of the new Chem March intake lecturer...
Then she said something about watching my marks and saying something like I have the potential or some sort... So, then, after all that, I went out and several thoughts flashed through my mind... 1. It's just past the EE1 and people are expecting me to perform as good as, if not better than the JPA dudes already... how la!!! I'm making way too many stupid, unforced mistakes for my top 3 subjects to overperform the JPAs... and that's just my top 3!!! What about my dreaded Econs??? Cacated la... Life just isn't fair!!!
2. I like to aim high... people always say, aim for the sky... for if you fall, at least you touched the clouds... But, I don't like people putting crazy expectations on me to perform so super well... just let me be!!!!
3. Assume all my ex-classmates from 5S1 were in the mainstream January intake... Well, if not all, at least Teck Wei, Yin Jen, Stan, Wenqi, Han Chow... people won't be looking at me as the "one with potential"... I'll just be as mediocre as others... Teck Wei and Yin Jen will outshine me so much more... Then all the attention will be taken off me... What a relief that would be!!!
4. I often wonder if some of my friends are actually my true friends... That's because I notice many people coming to me every now and then with Calculus, App Maths and Chem problems... well, not so much Chem, but Cal and App Maths... I can't help but think if most people see me only as their source for help with Maths work... and that if I never possessed such a talent, I would have less "friends"... Well, lemme tell you, I'm much more than that!!! But to all those who never thought of me this way, thank you!!!
Whoa, it's so late already... gotta get to bed soon, tomorrow I'm helping Jun Wey recover his lost item!!! Falcon, out!!!
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The R41nB0w lover
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4/3/89, 15/12/02
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